Its so dark here. Inside and out. Physically dark. Spiritually oppressive dark more than blackest black. I've never been here. I don't know what it is. Words are nothing...
Wake up. My dreams were light, this weight was gone. Dreams are my refuge. It only took a second for this heap to fall right on me again, like a wave of destruction as I worked out this is reality. Dreamland was not.
"All I have is you God. Everything is stripped away". I feel naked, my chest aches, my head aches.. I feel smashed inside. I don't even know how I got here. I cant get back to where I was. I cant rewind. I have got nothing more to give. I gave it all, and he took it and smashed me.
Broken.
"But I love you. I love you so much. Please god, please... please help. Help.... "
Ooh. The night is long. Time means nothing. Minutes or hours, I dont know. I dont care. My heart.... my whole heart! ahh. My future.... black. "But I love you.. I still love you..."
Broken. Thats what I see when I look at my tear stained pillow. I remember the night upon night it got soaked through. Waking up, puffy eyes, cant even see straight. So broken. But I made it through. Yes it broke me. Yes, I can even still see the scar. But its fading. Brokenness heals eventually if you allow it God inside its cavity.
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