cigarette
by kaitheguy
cigarette - object writing i REALLy want a cigarette i want to smoke them forever but I cant, i have to quit and it sucks because how can I just go forever without a cigrarette? are you serio9us? thats fu*kin horrible!!!! I can't! those cigarettes mannn... their so beautiful... they make you feel okay and when you light one up and inhale that smoke in the morning.... oh mannnnn... its orgasmic!!1 haha... but stilll.... its just not good... no matter how you look at it, to live, i need something that will inevitably kill me, so in other words, im just urepetively convincing myself to kill myself against my will.... cigarretes wont help, they will mess up my lungs and if i dont quit now then ill be addicted for ever! ill never be able to live in peace without one, i want to feel as good as i fe4el with cigarettes, but without thgem, and i guess I have to control my desires, so now im going to test myself and see how long I can control myself, how long i can go without getting what I want, but still pretend as if i got what i wanted or as if im going to get it, i need to control my desires... that is whats holding me back, like eminem when he said.. "caution to the whim, complete freedom." and it is. don't give in to your brain, you are the spirit. I can do what I want and I dont have to do anything i dont want to do to be happy, and in the same way i dont have to do everything I want to do to be happy either, and wow i have to take this time to say that I really love this exercise, im starting to feel like my old self again, I can think, my thoughts are actually, like, GOING THROUGH, going threough the filter, if you will, they are...... MY CONSCIOUS IS BACK!!! KAIS BACK BITCH WHATS GOOD? see im done takin orders from this p[iece of shit matter that thinks it has everything figured out, well apparently not cuz ur not answering what I need to know... until now. I know what has to be done, im going to grow, im gonna quit complaining about the cracked road and sprint through it cuz if i dont then i'll never face the music... sorry for the rhyme, i couldnt help it, i get all caught up on trying to do certaint hings, its like a combination of uneasy-ness, compulsion, obcession, nervousness, all kinds of stuff that i dont know, the brain is a confusing thing and I cant listen to it, this is the side I need to listen to.... the side that thinks in sentences... that thinks with reason... and that is what I have forgotten... how to reason, but now that I have found my flaw i can correct it and im already doing that, im going into the ring swinging, but not blindly, not anymore. now I am precise and with good intention.
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