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Comments for
Empire Lyrics

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Feb 07, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
co-write
by: Anonymous

Hello!

I like your lyrics?
I'm working with some tracks I need lyrics to.
Wanna co-write?

Email me then to joe.lucaz@hotmail.com
Check out my music @ myspace.ocm/joselucasmusic

Talk soon,
jose

Jan 27, 2010
Rating
starstar
give it a going over
by: Doc Haley

Your lines need more balance no matter what genre you are writing for.

Quit using words like AND, and don't use them so much. Many words stand out like this and are out of place in your song.

Also try to mix up the rhyming scheme and stay away from using the AABB all the time. Your intro was different in this respect but it too was not balanced. The first two lines seem to be one line or a blend of two that work together but the 3rd line really works better as a second one.

Cya
Doc

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