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Comments for
Falling Out Of Love lyrics---Pop

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Jan 26, 2010
Rating
starstar
Better than many
by: Doc Haley

You have sent in something that uses a non repetitious rhyming scheme. Very good IMHO.

You still have to clean up the words, some repetitive use of "and" and such.

Get you a metronome and use a stable tempo and see if you can sing your lyrics to a tempo.

Then try mine (poor as they are as a re-write) and see if it makes sense in terms of balanced lines.

You wrote:

I needed a place for a little while
A place to call my home
I needed someone there
Who's heart I could call my own

And you were there for so long
The one I thought I knew
And then we started falling apart
I was growing away from you


I re-wrote:
Needed a place for a little while, somewhere
to call home
Someone I trusted with my heart and that I
could call my own
We shared a space but not our lives, I nested
like a dove
Then one day I realized we were falling out of
love


Now this is a 5 minute re-write and it means nothing to you I understand. But if you will use what I have written and sing it to the same tempo like I asked you to do above you may see how the lines all take close to the same beats/measures tempo. They are balanced.

Cya
Doc


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