I Don't Know How I Ever Missed You lyrics- Upbeat Country

by Fifi

I Don't Know How I Ever Missed You lyrics

Main concerns: is this too tasteless/vulgar/mean tactless/inappropriate/immature?; Should any lines be switched around (especially the first two in the chorus)?; Are the examples too unbeleivable/"below the belt"/ vulgar (sadly, they're all true)?
Any other constructive criticism

Your unibrow looks like a mutant caterpiller
You spend Friday nights with your boys at T.J. Maxx
Talking to you is like talking to a stone pillar
You can never decide for yourself,always have to ask

Your pecs are nonexistent, your abs really just flab
It would be below the belt to say what else is small
You have no car, borrow that minivan from your dad
You run from all you problems; you really have no balls

Chorus: You have no purpose, just take up space
Cheated behind my back, lied to my face
I know I missed many other flaws too
But I don't know how I ever missed you

Okay, I know you must have some redeeming qualities
Like strong devotion to your hormones and March Madness
You're so chivalrous to protect homewrecking Gabby
Such a talented actor, faking love with each kiss

Chorus

Bridge: They say great hate only follows great love
And that's what I'm trying to get rid of

Chorus